Symone Robinson, foster carer and Advisory Group Member for the Foster Care Practice Guide, reflects on her journey to becoming a foster carer, her experience, and shares her four key takeaways from the latest Practice Guide.
Children have always been a big part of my life. I have loved being a mum to my two children who are now adults and as they were growing up our our house was always full of their friends. I have also been my mum’s support carer to her foster children.
My route into fostering came when I was made redundant. I was able to take some time to reflect on my priorities and what to do next. I decided I wanted to work with children and make that difference to their lives. Even having my mum as a close role model, I doubted at first whether fostering was for me and if I could do it. With her encouragement I decided to apply and found the assessment process to be both challenging and enlightening. Like so many people, I didn’t have a spare bedroom and thought this may be an obstacle, but the Panel accepted my plans to convert my large open plan living room into two rooms, and here I am nine years later.
As foster carers it can be hard to say what we need: we can feel we are being ‘demanding’ or ‘asking for too much.’ Being part of Foundations’ Advisory Group for this Practice Guide has brought together people with lived and/or learned experience of fostering, and I have felt there has been strength in coming together to sing from the ‘same hymn sheet.’ It has been a validating and empowering experience knowing that we all come from different fostering services, organisations and local authorities and that we have a collective voice and shared commitment to making the system work better for foster carers and the children in their care.
Being part of Foundations’ Advisory Group for this Practice Guide has brought together people with lived and/or learned experience of fostering, and I have felt there has been strength in coming together to sing from the ‘same hymn sheet.’
I know from personal experience the immense pressures on the fostering system to recruit, nurture, and retain foster carers. The key principles of the Foster Care Practice Guide – such as working with carers as equal partners, making sure support is in place before situations escalate, and really getting to know us and our families – are all achievable if all parts of the fostering system get behind them.
For all those working in fostering – from decision-makers and leaders to practitioners – here are my four key takeaways from, and hopes for, the Practice Guide.
1 | It takes a community around the carer to raise a child in care with love, stability and in safety
Reflecting on my fostering journey, what has sustained me is my wider support network and especially my children, who have been a constant source of support. It is so important that the Practice Guide recognises this crucial, largely unseen and unrecognised team of people around me and the children in my care. Equally, I know the importance of supporting and safeguarding the children of foster carers, which is why I am so pleased that whole family support has been highlighted within the guide. When I talk to new carers, I tell them they are not alone in handling the difficult things. In my experience, fostering is like co-parenting. We need the whole circle of support, including supervising social workers, schools and parents (where possible) to work together in the best interest of the children in care.
2 | Different support for different folks
Something that really struck a chord with me in the guide, is the need for different layers of support, that is well matched and flexible to reflect the diversity of needs and experiences of both carers and children. I have been a mentee, and a mentor to other carers, and n my experience informal support from peers plays an important role in fostering support but this shouldn’t be an ‘either-or’ situation. As carers, we need a range of formal and informal support, including financial, training and development, emotional and peer support, and short breaks. I am pleased that the Guide makes clear, evidence-based recommendations about the type of support that can help carers facing a variety of situations – whether this is supporting the child with their distressed behaviours, or recognising the importance of informal networks and short breaks to help foster carers recharge and reset.
3 | Trusting relationships matter
Throughout my fostering, I have valued strengths-based relationships, being supported by professionals who accept me for who I am, and being able to build trust and safety to learn together. I have appreciated supervising social workers who respect and empower me to provide the best care I can.
4 | Looking after foster carers so they can take care of the children
One thing I have learned along the way is that we as carers have emotional and wellbeing needs of our own. I have recognised that to keep my cup full, I need to take time for myself. I am fortunate that I have an inbuilt network of support from family members that enables me to do this, safe in the knowledge that my foster children are with known and trusted people who will support their familiar routines and provide consistency. Where this doesn’t exist, carers and children need support and time to build relationships with other carers who can become part of a trusted network of support. When we build strong, trusted networks around carers, we create the conditions for children, and those who care for them, to flourish.
The Foster Care Practice Guide shows that when we as carers have a circle of support that is tailored to our unique situations and needs, we are empowered to do what we came in to fostering for: to make the difference in children’s lives
—
Explore the the Foster Care Practice Guide.