Talking with families about parental relationships: Practical tips and guiding questions

This short guide provides practitioners and leads in local areas with practical tips on how to talk to families about parental conflict, and how to alleviate negative feelings about relationship support.

Parental conflict can be a sensitive topic for families. We know that conflict between parents is a normal part of relationships, and seeing conflict resolved in a loving or constructive way is important for children’s understanding of relationships. However, parents who are experiencing relationship difficulties can find it difficult to ask for help when they need it, because they feel ashamed and are worried about being misunderstood or judged. 

This short guide provides practical tips for talking to all families, including the importance of avoiding jargon, using inclusive language, acknowledging personal experiences, and knowing when to apologise. 

Six key tips for talking with families about parental conflict
Watch our two-minute video with key tips on communicating with families about parental conflict.

It also provides a set of guiding questions for practitioners and local leads to ask themselves on the use of inclusive language with specific groups of vulnerable families, including parents with mental health difficulties, minority ethnic parents, parents belonging to the LGBTQ+ community, parents of children with special needs, and separated or separating parents.

Ultimately, the aim is to increase families’ engagement with support and reduce the risk of parental conflict negatively impacting child outcomes.

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Rated 2: Set up and delivery is medium-low cost, equivalent to an estimated unit cost of £100–£499.

Rated 3: Set up and delivery is medium cost, equivalent to an estimated unit cost of £500–£999.

Rated 4: Set up and delivery is medium-high cost, equivalent to an estimated unit cost of £1,000–£2,000.

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Child Outcomes:

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Supporting children’s mental health and wellbeing: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient.

Preventing child maltreatment: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient.

Enhancing school achievement & employment: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient.

Preventing crime, violence and antisocial behaviour: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient.

Preventing substance abuse: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient.

Preventing risky sexual behaviour & teen pregnancy: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient.

Preventing obesity and promoting healthy physical development: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean commodo ligula eget dolor. Aenean massa. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient.

Evidence ratings:

Rated 2: Has preliminary evidence of improving a child outcome from a quantitative impact study, but there is not yet evidence of causal impact.

Rated 2+: Meets the level 2 rating and the best available evidence is based on a study which is more rigorous than a level 2 standard but does not meet the level 3 standard.

Rated 3: Has evidence of a short-term positive impact from at least one rigorous study.

Rated 3+: Meets the level 3 rating and has evidence from other studies with a comparison group at level 2 or higher.

Rated 4: Has evidence of a long-term positive impact through at least two rigorous studies.

Rated 4+: Meets the level 4 rating and has at least a third study contributing to the Level 4 rating, with at least one of the studies conducted independently of the intervention provider.

Rating has a *: The evidence base includes mixed findings i.e., studies suggesting positive impact alongside studies, which on balance, indicate no effect or negative impact.

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